• Sabotage: Recognize Commitment Phobia and Experience a Healthy Relationship
  • Pages 203
  • Chapters 14
  • Format PDF
You refuse to give up and let them go. Okay. Now, what’s next?

For starters, you must change the way you think when you’re in love with a commitment phobe because, unlike someone who’s looking for longevity in a relationship, the person you love is afraid of commitment. Therefore, they’ll use control and deception as manipulative tools to maintain distance in the relationship. Everything you do indicates you’re fully committed. That’s normally a wonderful thing, but for commitment-phobes, that’s a problem.

In a strange way, you understand them and love their unpredictable ways. One moment, they’re cold; the next, it’s as if someone turned on the heater of love, and you’ve forgotten that you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe.

If you really want to make your relationship work, you’ll have to meet them halfway. If you press them too hard for a change in behavior, they’ll keep their distance. Learn to back off and stop worrying. The less you stress, the more they’ll stress over you. That’s the first step to handling your commitment-phobic lover. There are many other steps that ‘ll need to be taken, but the first step sets the tone and lets your partner know who’s in charge!

Sabotage will teach you how to handle a commitment-phobe so you can win at love.

Table of Contents

  1. CONTENTS
  2. Acknowledgments
  3. Are You The One?
  4. Every Couple Argues
  5. What Did I Do Wrong?
  6. The Importance of Trust
  7. Red Flags
  8. The Lying Game
  9. Attractions
  10. No Money
  11. Are You Complaining?
  12. Keeping The Parents Away
  13. Blocking Distractions
  14. Keeping in Touch

Excerpt from the eBook

Featured Excerpt: Sabotage:Revised: Recognize Commitment Phobia and Experience a Healthy Relationship

CHAPTER 1: ARE YOU THE ONE?

Howmany times has someone told you that you’re the one they’ve been looking for their
entire life? Like many

people, you may’ve been told that multiple times. Butwhat does it really mean?
Someof my friends and family experienced this before finding the person they’re
currently married to. I’ve encountered this as well, and I caution you to be
aware of people like that in the dating world. You’ll be able to feel their
deceptive ways as soon as you become emotionally attached. Don’t be fooled if someone tells youthat you’re the one. We all want to find that special person to share our lives
with, and people who make comments like that prey on your desire to get
married. Strong relationships are built on love, respect, trust, and honesty.
The key is finding someone that shares the same values, goals, and interests as
you.Visualizea scenario where you’re at the store and you see someone that you think is the
man or woman of your dreams. You muster the courage to greet them and start a
conversation, which is followed by an exchange of numbers. The first date is scheduled
for that night because you’re both very eager to see each other again.Makesure you pay close attention to everything that’s said during the first date because
people tend to exclusively share the positive things about themselves in those
circumstances. Don’t think for one second that everything you’re being told is
the truth. Take everything with a grain of salt until proven true.Ifyou’re an honest person, understand that not everyone will be like you on the initial
date. Some people have ulterior motives while dating, and it’s up to you to
figure what those motives are. I’m not advising you to be paranoid, but I am
suggesting that you be cautious.Areyou a hopeless romantic? Then you may look for love at first sight. Someone may
have a host of attributes or characteristics that can deceive you into thinking
you’ve found love during the first meeting; you may have several things in
common, shared experiences, or you may like their style of dress and mannerisms.
But during the first date, make sure you’re not the only one talking. This is
important because volunteering too much information about yourself gives a
commitment phobe ammunition for deception and leverage to plan their next move.Acommitment phobe’s aim is to study and get as much information about you so
they can later impress you by pretending to relate to or be interested in
things you’ve shared. You’re allowing yourself to be studied and later
manipulated when you over-talk on a first date.Hownecessary is it to share trivial details with your date? It’s not at all
necessary, but it can be detrimental. The more you talk about things you love,
the more they’ll use those things to win you over. After the commitment phobe
has impressed you and won you over, they’ll then sabotage the relationship and
make you their next victim.Afterstudying commitment phobes, I’ve learned that they don’t trust anyone. But the
information you feed them gives them the confidence and ability to win your
trust; even though they don’t deserve it. If you limit your speech and ask them
to share about themselves, they’ll be at a loss for words. That’s because they
don’t trust anyone enough to share details about themselves. You may be
thinking that what I’ve described doesn’t pertain to you, but evaluate if you
did most of the talking on your first date? If the answer is yes, then you may
be a target for deception.Whetherit’s the first date or the eighteenth date, a commitment phobic person listens
for key words to quickly guide them toward getting what they want from you. After
they get what they want, they’ll be emotionally out the door; and eventually,
physically out the door.Manypeople who’re in relationships still struggle with commitment issues. Commitment
issues aren’t exclusive to people who’re only dating or single. To the contrary!
And if you share up front how loyal and trusting you’d be in a relationship, a
commitment phobe will use that to manipulate you. They’ll use that information
to do whatever they want in the relationship as they lie their way into your
heart.Acommitment phobe will toy with your heart strings once they know your issues
and what you have a strong emotional attachment to. They’ll know just what to
say to make you forget about their mistakes. They’ll make you laugh at the
right moment, and they’ll be sweet enough to constantly put you at a loss for
words. At times, you’ll feel this person is too good to be true because of how
well they listen to you and show concern.Haveyou been caught up in the rapture of love because of how your dating partner
makes you feel? Are you allowing yourself to be blinded to the reality of that
person’s nature and intentions? Wake up and make yourself aware of the truth,
which’ll become obvious once you remove your rose-colored glasses. Whydid you give your heart away so quickly? Why do they know so much about you so
soon? How much do you know about them? You may feel that you both have a great
deal in common, but the truth is that you’ve given away too much too early in
the dating process.


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