I'm a sell out. - But I usually sell myself short. Dilemma.

hitmeasap Level X⁵

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October 8, 2016, 11:48 pm

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I'm a sell out. - But I usually sell myself short. Dilemma.

Fellow Freelancers, this is kind of awkward. - I'm usually one of those people who tells others that they shouldn't sell themselves short. - I'm also one of those people who usually tells others to increase their prices, as it's easier to lure potential clients using discounts in the future instead of lowering their prices right from the start.

- I see myself as a reputable person. A person with enough credibility to be a tutor for others. - But I often caught myself doing the things I tell others to avoid.

I usually sell my services, my products or my knowledge and expertise for dirt-cheap bargain prices, even though I'm 101% certain of the fact that I could've earned 3,4 or even 10 times the money. - And I actually hate that part of myself.

And why I hate it? - Because I see others benefit from my doings. I see others benefit from my pain, my sweat and my tears. - Others often get a free ride because of me.

The same goes with one of my friends. - This has nothing to do with being a freelancer though, but I'll mention it any how. - I've promised one of my friends to help him renovate his mothers home. - And I've said that I'll do it for free, even though he told me that he'll pay me for it. - That's how stupid I am. And it's not the first time.

The thing is, that I see this as a favor. - But in reality, I know that this specific friend of mine are using me.. And I know, that he'll never return that favor. Ever.

So, as a quick reminder to all of you. - Don't be like me. Don't sell yourself to low. Ask for the price you truly believe or know that you are worth.

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Everett

Yep, this seems to occur a lot, and it's rather distasteful. For instance, you know those websites that say "work from home, earn money now! get started in just 5 minutes, and only do about 4 hours of work each day". Well those sites lie, because they want sales. It all comes down to money. If you're in need of money you will do whatever you can to get your money, whether that would be false advertising, discounting service/products, or even scamming.

The freelance world is very competitive, and you have to compete with others from countries who can live on $10 a day, whilst in other countries it's a bit hard to do so, like in America. I keep my prices basically the same, and put items on sale when and if I feel like it.

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hitmeasap

I can definitely see what you mean with your reply and I agree with what you've said here, although, I would never cheat or scam people for money myself. However, I am a person who feels scammed or fooled multiple times per week. Perhaps even per day actually. And most of the times, it's due to the way I function. Because who I am and how I do things. I sell myself short and I give things for free, because I usually can't bare the thought of making people pay their hard earned money on something I could give them for free. - But this has become a huge obstacle for me. - I give things for free and I charge just nickels and dimes for things I could charge more for, and because I've always done that, people expects me to do it all the time.

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EliteWriter

That is not such a great habit to have, especially in this day and age when you tend to meet so many people who try to make the most out of you. You should avoid doing this because after all we all work to earn something out of it. It is not that I have anything against voluntary work,but in your case it is not about being charitable. I suggest you try to act differently whenever such an opportunity presents itself. Your time and your effort are worth money. Why not ask that friend for a favor; he should not be able to say no if you are working for him for free?! It is only fair! At least you could get something in return and it is always a start.

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hitmeasap

It's hard to explain. My friend, is probably not a "real friend" so to speak. Most of you would probably not even consider him a friend. For me, it's a bit different. I consider him a friend and because of that, I'll do him favors. For free. And I won't expect anything back from him, because I'm certain of the fact that I will never get anything back.

That being said, if I don't do him favors, others will know that I didn't do it, and that could potentially become an issue further on, with others. Others might see it like a selfish act from me, not helping him. Which is the main reason I will help him. It's a tricky scenario, I know, and it's hard to explain too.

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Lynne

Perhaps you should look into what is called co-dependency Andre?

Unfortunately you need to change the way you do things or you will be stuck in that trap.

I believe you have a lot to offer, so don't sell yourself short. If you do you will find the users and abusers latch on for a free ride and that is always heartbreaking.

I know because I have done this myself in the past. Thankfully I now value myself more and I am not interested in giving anyone a free ride at my expense anymore.

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hitmeasap

I know, I know! - And that's the problem. I've done things like this during my whole life give or take, and that's the problem. I can't just change things, as that doesn't feel right. Not to me and it would most likely not feel good for others either, as they expect something out of me.

I know that I'm worth something, and I often know exactly how much I'm worth too, especially when it comes to business in areas of my expertise. But even with that, I still lower by prices or do things for free, because I feel good about it, even though, I at the same time, feel terrible because I would have needed that extra money, or that specific favor, or that I didn't had enough time to do this or that. - My generosity is one of my greatest enemies.

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Cristian

You seem just a nice person, there is nothing wrong with that. You just need to analyze your own interests a little bit more and put them on first place. You'll have a difficult time in today's world by not putting yourself first. So learn to do that, don't go out of your way to make a personal profit but definitely don't go the other way around, forgetting your own interest for the benefits of others.

I may sound cold and cruel but that's just how things are and it won't change anytime soon.

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hitmeasap

Suppose I did all that. I know what I'm worth and I charge what I'm worth. I make them pay the price I tell them to pay. How would that affect other things in life? - My friendships for instance. People depend on me, both in personal life and in business. If I start to act different, people would obviously react, and that reaction is what I'm a bit afraid of.

How would I be able to explain to these people, that I changed and why I've changed. In such a way so others won't think it's weird and in a decent way so others actually understands what I'm telling them?

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